Today I had a visit from Aboriginal Housing Assistance. Two beautiful young women. I don’t know how they can help me but I am going along for the ride. We yarned a goodly while and they added housing to my ACAT assessment. I am feeling overwhelmed and ill from this week’s commitments. I can feel the shutting down and the unhappiness. I shall cut my commitments back immediately. I cannot function on anything much. Left alone I do alright.
Then I received a call from the Little Girls asking whether they could come for an hour. In the end we had all afternoon to ourselves. I even made them pork dumplings for lunch. WE had a marvellous time.
I cooked myself a slow cooker meal for dinner.
All is well. All is well.
I am in need of a meeting. I have unfounded fear back and a sense of impending doom. My mind is scattered and a negativity is settling upon me. Superstitious thinking is creeping up. And my thoughts are too muddled even to pay the rent.
I NEED STABILITY AND ROUTINE.
And its round about this time of night that even after 4 years, I turn to speak to him. Expect to be able to go to him in bed and snuggle in. Round about this time at night.