How many days has it been now since you left, Izzy.Seems like I have been crying forever as they say. I breathe and do a meeting and attend to business and plan your farewell. I DO NOT PICK UP A DRUG OR A DRINK ONE DAY AT A TIME and sense of some kind will come of this.
The man I love passed away today. In the Forest where he ran each morning. Now there is nothing left but to weep.
It hasn’t been as tough a day as it might have been. I had intended to get Rosie to take me out to Izzy’s spot in the forest but the Girls called and asked me to the GELATO BAR CHOC FESTIVAL and so I went with them and Rose went to the NORTHBANK COMMUNITY GARDENS and bought and planted more seedlings.
The Girls and I laughed and played and ate. And then I came home. Spent a half hour with Rosie. Moved the table to a new spot on the verandah where perhaps I can sit with friends.
I spent the day online. AS I do.
It is the SHORTEST DAY OF THE YEAR.
doors to another world
July 28 2014.
Did it – and more ! Urunga shops. Vas Bros busking. Birthday Meeting. Chemist. Rescued a lady leaning on a lamppost. Bought Food. I come from a small town- about 1500 people – how good is that ! Shared tears and hugs and memories. Long idle chats.
Millie Slater gotcha. xx no capes….. have a beautiful sleep tonight. Get on that flying carpet and zoom…. xxx
Good morning world I have seen many things and I will soon be able to tell you about them and hopefully be able to Do even more
October 21 2014
Good Morning. Good Morning to you all. Near and Far. Good Morning Train Travellers and Automobile and Bicycle Travellers. Good Morning to Home Stayers and People with and without Children. Good Morning People in the UK who never seem to make Friends with me. Good Morning Weary and Sad People and Vigorous and Glad People. I like still calm mornings like this. Morning Birds – yes even you, you Fowl creatures. Good Morning to those I love dearly and to those of whom I am not fond. I will be especially nice to the people I don’t much like today.
And good morning to the people in ICU who saved my life and even to the Medical Wards which sucked. Who else ?
A special good morning to SHORT PEOPLE.
Back to cheerier 2.15 am things – Like Being able to walk around my own house and not being in a room with 3 sick ladies and loud nurses. And being conscious and having some very fine memories of some very good times and deep love. And of a glass of water.
I have friends staying overnight. That is a very good thing.
It is a wonderful thing to have one’s brain intact. Today – filled car with petrol. Sorted a bill about which I was correct. Then I swam – saltwater swimming. One lucky woman.
Lynne Sanders-Braithwaite It is only 7 weeks since I could not lift my finger, was cathetered and paralysed. Could not speak. Phew.
November 21 2014
Good Night to those who feel discouraged tonight. Remember – the thing others don’t like about you, might be the very thing that the rest of us love about you.
December 17 2014
Fridge. Meeting. Girls. Walk to Lido and swim. Afternoon visit. And now the darkness of night and summer thunderstorm. I am having the Summer I so wanted.
“THE RAT STOPS GNAWING IN THE WOOD, THE DUNGEON WALLS WITHDRAW, THE WEIGHT IS LIFTED YOUR PULSE STEADIES AND THE SUN HAS FOUND YOUR HEART, THE DAY WAS NOT BAD, THE SEASON HAS NOT BEEN BAD, THERE IS SENSE AND EVEN PROMISE IN GOING ON.”BERNARD DE VOTO
Once again I drove myself out today. All the way to Urunga to the Meeting. I would not have done so but the lawnmowers started up and I thought to myself – GIVE IT A GO. And I did. It was easy this time. Simple driving like I was once able to do.I used my disabled parking sticker and I enjoyed the meeting in a way that is rare for me nowadays, Down to earth people working in Unity,It was a pleasure and people showed change and health. Loved it so I did.
I sat awhile with a lass I know and then drove home. On the way I stopped off in Fernmount where Cat VS has just rented a house and I stood amongst the big old fig trees, BAKER STREET it is. Migosh its the kind of house I love.
Then I came on home. With some Prov food. There was an enormous dog standing there when I pulled up. It stood and looked at me and then came round to my door. Bloody big dog it were. Gentle and impressive. It has been an agreeable day despite being the anniversary of the last day Izzy spent on earth with me.
I do live an exquisitely beautiful life. Sometimes I don’t know that and other times that is painful. But it is exquisite. I could feel that in the meeting today as I listened to MY people. I had forgotten the richness of the way of life we have chosen. Life without drugs or alcohol. It becomes exquisite with the decisions we are driven to make in order to get through a day without chemical assistance. The deep beauty of a developing character .
I don’t travel much. I don’t go out much. But i sit and I delight in the small things.
I was looking at photos of the days just before and after Izzy’s death. Agony but exquisite and pure.