A pretty grim day physically. Almost all day in bed. Very ill. I had ordered a car seat from Facebook sales so I got myself up at 3pm and into town . I found the house and got this great booster seat for $20. Now I can drive with both girls in the car.
I didn’t know whether or not I was too sick to go to the meeting but then I figured I was becoming too mentally sick to no go. I need to do as I have done many times over the last 31 years. Commit myself to my home group. They had a proper birthday for me with a wonderful baked cheesecake and a card and Armidale people were down. It was the annual orchid show in the hall so our meeting was in the old church where Albie’s funeral was. Its a lovely room.
DC baked the cake and brought me an orchid. What a change I saw.
As well as that we had a genuine first timer. A real one.
I was very touched and very pleased to see us getting the fellowship functioning once more. I am very touched. Even hours later. There are good folk in this world.
They say Life is short but in many ways I think Life is long. I shall most likely think it too short when I see the Ending – but in these strange months, my thinking winds in and out of all the years and all the people and places and things. Its becoming a fine tapestry it is. Passions and Boredoms and Excitements and Dullnesses and Pains and Joys.
KEEP ON LOVING LYNNE.
Keep on loving.
I feel still that 3 of the people who mean the most to me don’t like me. Then I get sane and realise that its not my business whether they do or not. It is my business to keep on liking them.
I wonder what will come next. I have felt like this before but not been so physically ill as part of the combination. I do know that it is time for me to WAIT. Time for me to do as I am doing. Each day as well as I am able. Knowing – knowing that it is good enough.
And somehow finding pleasures. Small and simple.
Another thing that is easing its way into my thinking is that each person truly does the best they are able. And that includes me. That includes me. I were not as generous or as sane as I wish I had been when my Dad was old and alone. I am not now as well balanced or courageous or adventurous as I wish I were- but it doesn’t matter at all.
NOT AT ALL.
the SILVERBIRD 11 